For the first time in many weeks I had a day off where I did not have to run about cleaning or moving or repairing anything from my former life. I define my former life as that period of 5 years I spent intertwined with a man who I thought would love me forever. This same man made me believe that I could do anything and that we could build a future. For the first time I allowed myself to dream of the future only to have those dream shatter...but they are not forgotten.The dreams we conceived together were many and simple. Some of them have come true already, but still others, well, they seem like they can never come true now. Like grands of sand sliding through your fingers, the dreams I had are now out of my grasp and instead sit at my feet lost with a million other dreams now come and gone.
I would like to say this feeling is a remnant of issues still unresolved, but it is I think more a reaction to watching another's dreams slip through his fingers as well.
How I wish I did not have this crippling empathy for those I care about. Would make watching them repeating mistakes I have already made less painful to watch...
No comments:
Post a Comment