I cannot understand why I cannot make up my mind about what to do about the secret project tittled Exit Strategies. I cannot deny I feel how I feel about the situation as it has unfolded over so much time, but there is still this little part of me that cant let go. This little part of me that still holds onto the hope that the spark I see, that glint of something that keeps me here, will grow and reclaim the land from the occupying forces that are threatening two futures.
I feel like I may be leading on agents involved in Exit Strategies and that is not something I can forgive myself for if it is true. But what I find even more unforgivable is that I am not strong enough yet to make a move on this project...not even the slightest, most minuscule action.
Have I become so numbed by my life around me that I can no longer move at all. And if so, what hope do I have for the rest of my life like this...
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