Long lost friend...

Today I met for the first time in person a good friend of mine. He is just as sweet, kind and funny as he has seemed over the computer screen that has been between us for so many years. It is nice to know that in some ways my judgment of people is not completely lost yet.

I have been feeling lately, due to a variety of situations that have arisen, that my judgment skills have been impaired beyond repair. Or at the very least cloudy in terms of my relation to men. I sometimes wonder if the things I thought I was seeing are merely a subconscious device to deal with pain that I have been ignoring. I mean, at the sheer mention of my ex, I go into this tense rigidity that is not comfortable.

So it is with great trepidation that I am walking into a potential new situation with someone who seems to me to be very nice and kind and gentle. I really do not think I can recover from another person in my life who turns out to only be a new version of the old product. Here's hoping for hope.