When is too much too much...

I was talking to one of my co-workers today who commented that he was short some CLE credits for his professional certifications. For those who do not know, CLE is continuing legal education, sometimes called CPE ("continuing professional education").

Many licensed professions require continuing education credits to maintain licenses and designations. It is a way to ensure that professionals are staying on top of the trends in their profession and also offers a great way to network.

Personally, I have over 60 CLE credits for this year. This is an absurdly high amount for someone at my level who has no professional designations to maintain.

My old co-workers used to joke with me that I just took CLEs to get out of the office and out of doing real work. Well, sorry guys, the reason I took so many is so much simpler -- I am insecure.

I take as many CLEs as I can since I always want to know more so I can be better at my job. I have always been that kid who wanted to know more than anyone else so I could impress the teacher. I still am that kid, but I want to get more than my bosses' approval, but everyone I know's approval.

It took me so long to find a profession, after watching my friends find theirs years ago, that I just want them to be able to look up to me as a professional in my field.

It is stupid and childish and ridiculous I know, but some childhood wounds will just never heal...